Expect the Unexpected

Parental preparation is an important part of educational success for young dyslexics, as it will help you manage the inevitable challenges that arise. Even when it feels like everything has gone wrong despite great preparation, the benefits of your early planning will eventually shine through. To showcase this point, I will tell you about the first week of school for my two dyslexic daughters.

Prior to school, I organized meetings separately with both my daughters’ teachers and support staff — the principal, the school counselor, tutor, homeroom, resource and math teachers, as well as the psychologist who performed their Psychological Education Evaluation, and myself. We sat down and discussed summer work, plans for the school year, and acceptable accommodations and technological aides. I was pleasantly surprised, overwhelmed actually, by the support I received. I was feeling pretty great when school started. My daughters had extensive tutoring over the summer, we had a plan with the school and their teachers. Expectations were set, so now let’s fly, right? Well, hold on….

On the second day of school I whistle in to pick up my three children only to find my middle daughter in tears because of a math test, my eldest asking if she was going to get held back, and my kindergartener subsequently hysterical because he slammed his finger in a door. I took a lot of deep breaths and took them home. After I put some ice on my son’s hand, I took my daughters, one by one, to a place where we could talk. The day progressed with their tears dissolving, their fears subsiding (for now) and my own emotions began to well up. This is life.

Subsequent to this difficult second day however, and as a result of our meetings prior to school, I was approached by my middle daughter’s teacher, who reached out to me and sincerely apologized for accidentally giving her a timed test (one of her accommodations is to not have timed tests). I also spoke with my oldest daughter’s teacher, who was unaware of her insecurities and conveyed sorrow and a dedication to keep an eye out, while we both reiterated the need to communicate openly. Those initial meetings and continued follow up have already made a difference in the following three days at school. We will no doubt have other hurdles to overcome, but working as a team with your teachers and preparing them with the tools to help combat your child’s deficits is a critical component to your child’s success.

Academically, preparation and teamwork with the school staff is paramount, and yet emotionally overcoming hurdles requires another set of strategies. As we have discussed, despite the best planning, there will still be times when your child fails, is scared, embarrassed or ridiculed. It is an inevitable part of the life of a dyslexic child and it can be very painful. To combat this, I say… be strong, lead by example and focus on gifts. Show your child you are on their side, that you are meeting with their teachers to manage their needs in the classroom, that you are working alongside them for their right to learn, and that you have all the confidence in them to succeed. Tell them and show them so that they can learn from your example. You, as their parent, are a mirror to them of how they view themselves — so if you see the whole child, the “island of weakness” (yes) but ALSO their “sea of strengths,” they will too. Children can still thrive with weaknesses, they do all the time, but they cannot thrive without any strengths. Find your child’s authentic strengths and focus on them with a laser beam at home, so they can draw from that at times of insecurity in school.

As I write this post, there is so much more I want to share and discuss, but for now I will have to wait for next week. I hope your first week(s) of school are filled with more excitement than hurdles, but I also hope that when the challenges do come, your preparation keeps you and your child in good stead.